Create Space

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Why do we need to create space?

The short answer is because life is a work in progress, and to receive and experience new things, we need to create space for them. If we stay in our cocoon of habits and beliefs, we will never improve our lives. At the same time, we need to protect ourselves and create space between us and others.

CREATE SPACE TO RECEIVE.

Ex: Expanding the family

When you decide to expand the family, you have to think about the space available in the house—if it’s not enough to live comfortably with a pet and/or a baby, you might consider looking for a bigger place. But a new home is not enough to receive new beings—do you have space in your hearts to share the love and take care of them? It’s essential to ask yourself this question because the emotional space needed to become parents is probably the biggest one you will ever need to find in your heart.

Ex: Accepting emotions

Whenever you decide to deny an emotion, you are are refusing to create space for it. If you want to overcome a painful moment (I am not talking about traumas here), escaping is not going to work. You have to accept the negative emotion and create space to FEEL it—this new space will hold the issue you are experiencing with compassion. With time, you will become more aware of the emotion, and you will be able to control it and let it go.

CREATE SPACE TO SEPARATE.

Creating space is essential to receive, but it’s also important to establish boundaries between us and other people—closeness and compassion are great traits of our human nature, but they can turn into attachment and dependence. In EVERY relationship, we have to make sure we protect and keep a private space.

Ex. Romantic relationships

When you have been on a couple of dates, and are still evaluating the situation, it’s vital to create a bit of space between you and the other person to show him/her that you are getting to know each other, and you don’t want to rush. This is a critical point to make especially in light of the global discussion on consent and the #MeToo movement. If you are in the same cab on the way home, sit further away—show him/her that you want to protect your private space. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, get away from him/her sometimes, cultivate your own friendships and interests—codependency hurts the relationship in the long term.

Ex. Helping others

Compassion is an essential trait of our human nature, but it doesn’t have to be confused with attachment—this concept is a pillar of Eastern philosophies. We should help others when we can, but we can’t suffer like if we were living their life. We have to create emotional space (detachment) between the issues we face, and the ones that other people face.

Keep the concept of space in mind in your daily life—it will help you take important decisions and evaluate difficult situations.